Re: Joke of the Day

by **Lexter** January 6th 2010, 7:37 pm

wahahahahahahahaahah!!!! of course eh...kag dapat lang kay daw feeling ko memorize na nila ang bible ya... hay speaking of pastor, may na remember lang ko d.... lol!

by **Bakolgang** January 7th 2010, 3:10 pm

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

--------------------------------------------------------
Son asks the difference between Confidence and Confidential. Dad says, you are my son, I am Confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s Confidential.
Sa isang ospital nag-fill out si lola ng medical record.
LOLA: matanong na nga kita iha. Ano ba ang ilalagay dine sa status?
NURSE: Ahmm.. may asawa na po ba kayo lola?
LOLA: Meron.
NURSE: Married na lang po ang ilagay mo lola.
LOLA: Di naman kami kasal eh flirt flirt lang yun.
NURSE: Ahmm.... Sige lagay nyo na lang po sing...le.
LOLA: Pero nagsasama na kami't may mga anak.
NURSE: Sige po lagay nyo na lang it's complicated!
Hahahaha

by **Lexter** January 7th 2010, 7:17 pm

wahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like you lola!!!!!!!!!!!!! sunny

katigulang na pro kabalo man gali ya mag flirt....heheheeh

by **Bakolgang** January 8th 2010, 9:45 am

LOLA: Di naman kami kasal eh flirt flirt lang yun.

bakod si lola

by **Bakolgang** January 8th 2010, 10:01 am

Nag-text si Dolfo kay Berto, "Matagal ko nang itinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sayo. Mahal na mahal kita. Lahat gagawin ko, mapasaya ka lang!" Tuwang-tuwa si Berto na nag-text back, "Akala mo ba ikaw lang ang nagtatago ng nararamdaman? Ako rin, mahal din kita!" Nag-text uli si Dolfo, "Pareng Berto, wrong send lang ako. Para kay Bebang yun! Ikaw, ha!"
--------------------

Spanish teacher: Class use 'fuera' in a sentence.

Student: Mis maestras son bonitas (my teachers are beautiful.)

Teacher: Oh, that's very flattering but where's 'fuera'?

Student: Fuera ka!
---------------------------

Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis.

Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo.

3 months later, bumalik si babae, galit...

Babae: Bakit ako nabuntis?!

Intsik: Baka hinubad mo!

------------------------

Amo: Inday, ilipat ang comforter sa kwarto.

Inday: San ko ilagay kuya?

Amo: Ipatong mo lang sa kama

Maya-maya...

Inday: Andun na po. Sinama ko na rin ang frenter at iskaner.
-----------------------------

Boy: gusto mo libre kita ng siomai at hopia?

Girl: ha? bakit?

Boy: wala lang... i just want to siomai love for you and hopia love me too!
------------------------------

by **Lexter** January 9th 2010, 10:54 am

wahhhhhaahahahahah!!!! like the jokes here... it helps brighten up my mood... thanks for posting.... Joke of the Day - Page 2 Icon_sunny

by **Bakolgang** January 9th 2010, 11:13 am

Juan: pare sinong idol mo?

Pedro: si ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

Juan: cge nga, spell SCHWARZENEGGER

Pedro: hnde, joke lng pare, si JET LI tlga idol ko!
-------------------------

Anak: Mom I know the truth!

Mom: Ha?! Heto P500 huwag ka lang maingay sa Dad mo!

Anak: Dad I know the truth!

Dad: Ha?! Heto ang P1000 huwag ka lang maingay sa Mom mo!

Anak: (ok pala ito... subukan ko nga sa katulong) Inday I know the truth!

Inday: SA WAKAS!!! YAKAPIN MO AKO ANAK!!!
---------------------------

NANAY: Anak, hindi ka ba nahihiya?! Linis ako nang linis dito, tapos ikaw, naglalaro lang dyan?!

ANAK: 'Nay, 'di ba, mas nakakahiya kung ako ang naglilinis dyan at ikaw ang naglalaro rito? Umayos ka dyan, 'Nay!

NANAY: Sorry na, anak!
---------------------

by **Bakolgang** January 9th 2010, 11:14 am

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four
hour,
surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a
partial
sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here
to
wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are
my testicles black?
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other,
lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says,
"There's nothing wrong with them, Sir."
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very,
closely......
"A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?"

by **anuanu26** January 10th 2010, 8:34 am

one day isang araw
inutusan ng nanay ang kanyang anak

Nanay: nhe pagbakal to anay
sang pinakas sud an tah panyaga>
Anak: karon lang nay ahh
gapalupad pa ako sang aborador ahh
Nanay: ay katuntunto ng bata ni ay hmm masud-an mo nah ang aborador mo nga tunto ka??
Anak: Ay katunto man sa imo nay ngaa mapalupad mo ang imo pinakas haaw??

Joke of the Day - Page 2 Icon_evil

by **anuanu26** January 10th 2010, 8:39 am

HAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
BUHAY, PARANG LIFE, MINSAN ,SOMETIMES, TINAWAG, ITONG WHAT WE CALL,
FOR EXAMPLE, HALIMBAWA, BABY, BATA ,SANGGOL,
AT ANG MOVE, AY GALAW,
AT ANG VERV, AY PANDIWA,
SO KUHA MO NA, GETS MONA, UN, NA UN, THAT'S IT!!
Joke of the Day - Page 2 Lol

by **Bakolgang** January 10th 2010, 4:33 pm

Subject: Beauty Pageant

_____

Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines ?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines ? Why Bocaue?
Girl : Because it's a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces.
_____

Host : What is yo ur best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
_____

Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contes tant : If others can't why, why can't I!
_____

Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
_____

Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
_____

Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up.
_____

Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
_____

Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
_____

Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
_____

Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
_____

Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
_____

Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
_____

Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!
_____

Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk???

by **anuanu26** January 10th 2010, 5:54 pm

w ha hahahah very nice
hahahahahah n ice pops

by **Lexter** January 10th 2010, 8:00 pm

wahahahahah!!!!!! nice jokes here... I like it... thanks for the updates... Joke of the Day - Page 2 Icon_sunny

by **anuanu26** January 11th 2010, 3:22 am

The Story of the OFW

May isa ka OFW nga naga trabaho sa singapore for about 10 years
one day ginpamangkot sya sang iya amo"

Amo: Nene, your working here for about 10 years, you are too far
from your family why you don't find some other jobs in the Philippines.
(nene, naga obra ka diri sang napulo nah ka tuig malau ka sa imo nga pamilya ngaa hnd ka nalang mangita sang iban nga trabaho sa pilipinas?)

Nene: you know sir, there in the Philippines you need to cow cow every day but ther has no climb salary!! that's why im here in your country men!
(bal an mo sir pag didto ka sa pilipinas kinahanglan mo mo mag baka baka adlaw adlaw pero wala ga saka ang imo sweldo amo nah nga diri ko sa inyo pungsod) Joke of the Day - Page 2 Icon_lol

by **basilio** January 12th 2010, 8:27 am

kay nd gali kabalo ka English ka baka baka amo pa hinambal ya lang.....cow cow waaaaaaaaaaaa

by **anuanu26** January 12th 2010, 1:18 pm

"si jaun may pakaisa nga nag dako sa ameraka
ta tungod nga tga provicia perme nya lang gina sugo c juan"

isa ka adlaw,,!

pedro: hey juan please can you fix my byke
juan: ah ok! kasin!
pedro: when your done pitch me some water im gona take a bath!
juan: ok kasssiiin!
pedro are you angry!? juan, make it fast hurry!!
"sa kainit sang ulo ni juan namuyayaw sya"
juan: lente! ngaa daw gina daug daug mo lang ko ah anu pamatyag mo sa akon tawo tawo sa duldul? ay karon kanu on ko ulo mo.
pedro: what your saying say it in English!!
juan: ah ok "lightning you are always winner winner me what you think of me man man in the kapok tree? by n by i will American your head

by **Lexter** January 12th 2010, 9:35 pm

kapok tree?... daw naglingin ya ulo ko d after ka read... wahahaha!!! Joke of the Day - Page 2 Icon_sunny

by **Bakolgang** January 12th 2010, 10:18 pm

Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?

Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
-----

Sam -why are all these people running?
Tom- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sam-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

-----

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sam: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

-----

Sam was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

-----

Sam told his servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: it's already raining.

Sam: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

-----

Sam comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 the complement"

-----

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sam:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

-----

Sam's wish : when I die, I wanna die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

-----

Sam at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

-----

Sam was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sam: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

-----

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

-----

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why you didn’t jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

-----

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

-----

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten you burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.

-----

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

-----

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?

by **Lexter** January 13th 2010, 10:33 am

wahahahahahhaahhh!!!!!! nice jokes here again... thanks for posting... Joke of the Day - Page 2 Icon_lol

baw si Sam is the man of the day here!!! Go go go Sam!!!! Joke of the Day - Page 2 Lol

by **anuanu26** January 14th 2010, 6:27 am

Pacquiao JOKE

CHAVIT: MANNY, paki acknowledge naman c 1st Gentleman,late dumating,aun
kadadaan lang tabi ng ringside.,
PACMAN: i wud like to acknowledge da ARRIVAL OF DA LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST
PASSED AWAY.

Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tau anu
magandang name?

Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin…
“MANKY” ….Harhar.

Pacquiao: honey, buksan mo na yung sweets…
Jinky : lambing mo talaga. mwah !! nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!

C Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa
GenSan…
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar…..GenSan?
Manny: ah, yun ba? uhmm….eh….ang masasabii ku lang diyan ay…
Reporter: ano..?
Manny: ahh, kwan,…maraming Fish sa GenSan pero wala maxado umo-Order..

Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk

Manny: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang
napupusuan?
Freddie: Meron… Manhid ka lang!

Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!

- Sigaw ni Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal.. =)

-Sa Las Vegas-

Waiter: May i take ur order,
madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

YOU IS!

YOU IS!

YOU IS!
-sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pgdating sa Amerika. Andito na ako sa ‘you is

Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang
pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.

Manny: oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.

Dionisia: Hndi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh..

Manny: Talaga nay? Anu?

Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny-jinky)

bwahahaha!!!

happy reding mga guys
medyo d muna maka ol c anu anu day off ko kaci bukas eh
i love friday bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

by **Lexter** January 14th 2010, 4:40 pm

nice jokes... wahahahahah!!!! hay daw nadula stress ko ba... thanks for posting... Joke of the Day - Page 2 Lol

by **Bakolgang** January 14th 2010, 8:38 pm

by **Bakolgang** January 14th 2010, 8:43 pm

TEACHER: pedro pls read ur 500 word essay!

PEDRO: yes ma'am.My Muning bow!!

My Muning is lost so i went outside the house to look for my muning...

Muning(485x)..

by **Lexter** January 16th 2010, 6:16 pm

whahahahahah!!!!! Silly Muning!.... nice, thanks for the update... Joke of the Day - Page 2 Lol

by **Bakolgang** January 16th 2010, 6:23 pm

BUST TOES

Thing none knew see in die
Who bought, who bad
The hill key none thought
Knee one see in die

Weak a knee in die
Oh! Oh! Oh! Ah!
The hill see one
I might tea thing
Math tea gas

See in die I my key king
Math thumb book;
Knockin none thought at
Seen noon dote knee one

Tap ohs see new boo!
Knee in die
Ant thee tea knee one
At eat toy too me gas!

Joke of the Day - Page 2 Lol

by **Lexter** January 16th 2010, 6:31 pm

oh my gosh!!!! daw i bunggo ko di head ko ah... what a joke!!! Naglingin ulo ko at first coz I can't get through it... ang ending gali ya... nice author here... wahahaha!!!! daw mahulog man ko sa gina pungkuan ko ba....wahahahaha!!!! Joke of the Day - Page 2 Lol

by **Bakolgang** January 17th 2010, 12:21 pm

ano ang pinagkaiba ng demonyo sa bading?

ang demonyo, diablo.

ang bading, blodiab.

by Lady_raisa January 18th 2010, 12:33 pm

ano na man??la sense..sheng!

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