Joke of the Day
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Bakolgang
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Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang December 15th 2009, 2:33 pm
In a church, a boy asked a priest.
Boy: Father what is your hobby?
Priest: Nun my son Nun!
----------------------------------
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four
---------
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
--------
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
Boy: Father what is your hobby?
Priest: Nun my son Nun!
----------------------------------
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four
---------
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
--------
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter December 15th 2009, 6:20 pm
wahahahah!!! nice, fine joke...i like the last one most... 
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
Admin- Admin
- Posts : 93
Join date : 2009-07-03
Location : Guimaras Island -
Re: Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang December 16th 2009, 10:46 am
Excuse Letters by Filipino Parents
These are excuse notes from parents (including
original spelling) collected by schools from all over
the country:
"My son is under a doctors care and should not take
P.E. today. Please execute him."
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O
kaya n'yo yun?)
"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick
and I had her shot."
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...siyet! Baka may
rabies...)
" Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on
Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
(Ah grabe to. Nasa kalindaryo pa ang birthday mo
kung ganon. Hahaha!)
"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
administrating. "
(Ano daw????)
"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin! Hahaha!)
"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken
out of his face."
(Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola
sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso
niya. Hahaha!!!)
"Megan could not come to school today because she has
been bothered by very close veins."
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)
"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very
loose vowels."
(ah.....eh.. ..i.....ow. ...u....hahahaha !)
"Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He
had (diahre)(dyrea) (direathe) the shits."
(Nubayan! Multiple choice! Sinabi na kasi LBM na lang
eh. Pasosyal pa kasi).
" Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his
bust."
(So transsexual pala si Irving ?)
"Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have
to attend her funeral.
( Ala eh! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)
"Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He
had a cold and could not breed well."
(Stud service ba yung school nya? Baka gremlins
siya).
"Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
gangover."
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon.
Hahaha!)
"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a
fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her
sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her
brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There
must be something going around, her father even got
hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela.. . bow! Makuwento siya ha... o
baka kulang lang sa pansin...)
"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get The Sunday paper off the porch, and
when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner 'to!!!!!!!!! ! Ang galing!!!! Puwede rin kaya
sa office ito? Hahahaha!)
These are excuse notes from parents (including
original spelling) collected by schools from all over
the country:
"My son is under a doctors care and should not take
P.E. today. Please execute him."
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O
kaya n'yo yun?)
"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick
and I had her shot."
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...siyet! Baka may
rabies...)
" Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on
Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
(Ah grabe to. Nasa kalindaryo pa ang birthday mo
kung ganon. Hahaha!)
"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
administrating. "
(Ano daw????)
"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin! Hahaha!)
"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken
out of his face."
(Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola
sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso
niya. Hahaha!!!)
"Megan could not come to school today because she has
been bothered by very close veins."
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)
"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very
loose vowels."
(ah.....eh.. ..i.....ow. ...u....hahahaha !)
"Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He
had (diahre)(dyrea) (direathe) the shits."
(Nubayan! Multiple choice! Sinabi na kasi LBM na lang
eh. Pasosyal pa kasi).
" Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his
bust."
(So transsexual pala si Irving ?)
"Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have
to attend her funeral.
( Ala eh! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)
"Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He
had a cold and could not breed well."
(Stud service ba yung school nya? Baka gremlins
siya).
"Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
gangover."
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon.
Hahaha!)
"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a
fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her
sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her
brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There
must be something going around, her father even got
hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela.. . bow! Makuwento siya ha... o
baka kulang lang sa pansin...)
"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get The Sunday paper off the porch, and
when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner 'to!!!!!!!!! ! Ang galing!!!! Puwede rin kaya
sa office ito? Hahahaha!)
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
Re: Joke of the Day
by basilio December 17th 2009, 11:47 am
coconut tree.
GIRL: nay, sugo ko ni lolo masaka sa babaw niyog.
MOM: dipuga day, gusto nya lang na makita imu panty.
GIRL: abot ko man.
wais ko ya,wala ko gani nagsuksuk!!
GIRL: nay, sugo ko ni lolo masaka sa babaw niyog.
MOM: dipuga day, gusto nya lang na makita imu panty.
GIRL: abot ko man.
wais ko ya,wala ko gani nagsuksuk!!
basilio- Posts : 271
Join date : 2009-09-13
Age : 40
Location : San miguel Jordan guimaras
Re: Joke of the Day
by basilio December 17th 2009, 11:56 am
madre and student..
MADRE: ano imu apelyedo to?
BATA: bal-an mo na na sis ah.permi mo na ginauyatan.
MADRE: sus maryosep..BOTO imo apelyedo?
BATA: nd ah,cruz bala!
MADRE: ano imu apelyedo to?
BATA: bal-an mo na na sis ah.permi mo na ginauyatan.
MADRE: sus maryosep..BOTO imo apelyedo?
BATA: nd ah,cruz bala!
basilio- Posts : 271
Join date : 2009-09-13
Age : 40
Location : San miguel Jordan guimaras
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter December 19th 2009, 7:17 pm
wahahahah!!!! nice jokes basil....hehehh.... 
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
basilio- Posts : 271
Join date : 2009-09-13
Age : 40
Location : San miguel Jordan guimaras
Re: Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang December 24th 2009, 9:06 am
Nanay: Itigil mo na yang pag boboyfriend mo! walang mangyayari sa inyo!.
Anak: Ows?. Hindi nga? e bakit kagabi meron..
Anak: Ows?. Hindi nga? e bakit kagabi meron..
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter December 27th 2009, 7:06 pm
wahahahhaaaaa!!!!! interesting!!!! love the message from within. 
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
Re: Joke of the Day
by basilio December 28th 2009, 1:07 am
wahahahahahahaha....kong ako mahipos nalang ko total paryo malang kamu rakit....dba Lexter???
basilio- Posts : 271
Join date : 2009-09-13
Age : 40
Location : San miguel Jordan guimaras
Re: Joke of the Day
by anuanu26 December 31st 2009, 2:28 am
baliw ba cla o hnd??
ang mga Parents
....
Noon kah8 mahina pa ang tuhod mo pilitin kang turuan mglakad>>
ngaun gusto mo gumala kaso ccrmunan ka..
...Noon kh8 ayaw mo kumain pakainin ka paluin pah pag ayaw!!>>
ngaun pag kumain ka ng marami pagaltan tirahan daw ung kapatid..\
...Noon pag ayaw matulog patulogin kah
ngaun pag nal8 kah pumasok sa skol kac antok pah pagalitan
...noon kah8 herap ka turuan talaga magsalita halos araw2
ngaun pag sumagot ka savhn masamang anak ka at walang utang na loob
bakit ganun cla
adik ba mga magulang natin??
Kaya hndi natin macc kung ma mga stuborn child cyempre nagulohan dn yan cla (heheheh)
^_^
ang mga Parents
....
Noon kah8 mahina pa ang tuhod mo pilitin kang turuan mglakad>>
ngaun gusto mo gumala kaso ccrmunan ka..
...Noon kh8 ayaw mo kumain pakainin ka paluin pah pag ayaw!!>>
ngaun pag kumain ka ng marami pagaltan tirahan daw ung kapatid..\
...Noon pag ayaw matulog patulogin kah
ngaun pag nal8 kah pumasok sa skol kac antok pah pagalitan
...noon kah8 herap ka turuan talaga magsalita halos araw2
ngaun pag sumagot ka savhn masamang anak ka at walang utang na loob
bakit ganun cla
adik ba mga magulang natin??
Kaya hndi natin macc kung ma mga stuborn child cyempre nagulohan dn yan cla (heheheh)
^_^
Last edited by anuanu26 on December 31st 2009, 2:34 am; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : ?)
anuanu26- Posts : 87
Join date : 2009-12-25
Age : 37
Location : Palawan
Re: Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang January 1st 2010, 12:11 pm
dalawang magkumpare naguusap...
Pare#1: Pare galing ng viagra, my sex life is back!
Pare#2: So kay kumare mo lang ginagamit right?
Pare#1: Syempre naman! Kasi pag ibang babae di na kailangan!
Pare#1: Pare galing ng viagra, my sex life is back!
Pare#2: So kay kumare mo lang ginagamit right?
Pare#1: Syempre naman! Kasi pag ibang babae di na kailangan!
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter January 1st 2010, 9:12 pm
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a joke!!!
@basilio: pagusto ko ya, feel ko ya mag comment beh...ano nga raket gina mean mo da basil?...
@basilio: pagusto ko ya, feel ko ya mag comment beh...ano nga raket gina mean mo da basil?...
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
basilio- Posts : 271
Join date : 2009-09-13
Age : 40
Location : San miguel Jordan guimaras
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter January 2nd 2010, 6:15 pm
daw feeling close na ta ba?.... ano ya imo raket basil haw?... feeling manlang na ah... wahahah!!!
feeling manlang na ah... wahahah!!!
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
basilio- Posts : 271
Join date : 2009-09-13
Age : 40
Location : San miguel Jordan guimaras
Re: Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang January 4th 2010, 5:29 pm
Madre: Father, tell your seminarian not to urinate along the fence...
Father: Sister naman, maliit na bagay lang papansinin mo pa...
Madre: No Malalaki, Father.. Malalaki! Shocked
____
Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala Niya ang limang anak namin."
Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"
Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa iyo diyan!"
_____
Juan: San ka galing?
Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Juan: E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?
Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!
_____
Two nurses on duty...
Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!
Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen
ko!!
_____
Wife: Dear, ano regalo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa ...
Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh! sa 50th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Susunduin na kita!
_____
Maid: Sir sinong mas yummy? si mam ba o ako?
Sir: Syempre naman ikaw day! bakit?
Maid: Naguguluhan lang po kasi ako eh... sabi kasi ng driver, eh mas
yummy daw talaga si mam!
_____
GF: I ' m warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!
BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!
GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!
_____
Father: Sister naman, maliit na bagay lang papansinin mo pa...
Madre: No Malalaki, Father.. Malalaki! Shocked
____
Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala Niya ang limang anak namin."
Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"
Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa iyo diyan!"
_____
Juan: San ka galing?
Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Juan: E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?
Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!
_____
Two nurses on duty...
Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!
Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen
ko!!
_____
Wife: Dear, ano regalo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa ...
Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh! sa 50th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Susunduin na kita!
_____
Maid: Sir sinong mas yummy? si mam ba o ako?
Sir: Syempre naman ikaw day! bakit?
Maid: Naguguluhan lang po kasi ako eh... sabi kasi ng driver, eh mas
yummy daw talaga si mam!
_____
GF: I ' m warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!
BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!
GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!
_____
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Re: Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang January 6th 2010, 9:15 am
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg... The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter January 6th 2010, 1:34 pm
nice jokes...... especially the last one, in fairness may moral lesson pa....
especially the last one, in fairness may moral lesson pa....
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
Re: Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang January 6th 2010, 3:51 pm
Pigado si father hehehehehe.
Basi si pastor bal-an nya dayon.
Basi si pastor bal-an nya dayon.
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter January 6th 2010, 7:37 pm
wahahahahahahahaahah!!!! of course eh...kag dapat lang kay daw feeling ko memorize na nila ang bible ya... hay speaking of pastor, may na remember lang ko d....
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
Re: Joke of the Day
by Bakolgang January 7th 2010, 3:10 pm
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
--------------------------------------------------------
Son asks the difference between Confidence and Confidential. Dad says, you are my son, I am Confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s Confidential.
Sa isang ospital nag-fill out si lola ng medical record.
LOLA: matanong na nga kita iha. Ano ba ang ilalagay dine sa status?
NURSE: Ahmm.. may asawa na po ba kayo lola?
LOLA: Meron.
NURSE: Married na lang po ang ilagay mo lola.
LOLA: Di naman kami kasal eh flirt flirt lang yun.
NURSE: Ahmm.... Sige lagay nyo na lang po sing...le.
LOLA: Pero nagsasama na kami't may mga anak.
NURSE: Sige po lagay nyo na lang it's complicated!
Hahahaha
--------------------------------------------------------
Son asks the difference between Confidence and Confidential. Dad says, you are my son, I am Confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s Confidential.
Sa isang ospital nag-fill out si lola ng medical record.
LOLA: matanong na nga kita iha. Ano ba ang ilalagay dine sa status?
NURSE: Ahmm.. may asawa na po ba kayo lola?
LOLA: Meron.
NURSE: Married na lang po ang ilagay mo lola.
LOLA: Di naman kami kasal eh flirt flirt lang yun.
NURSE: Ahmm.... Sige lagay nyo na lang po sing...le.
LOLA: Pero nagsasama na kami't may mga anak.
NURSE: Sige po lagay nyo na lang it's complicated!
Hahahaha
Bakolgang- Posts : 143
Join date : 2009-07-03
Re: Joke of the Day
by Lexter January 7th 2010, 7:17 pm
wahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like you lola!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
katigulang na pro kabalo man gali ya mag flirt....heheheeh
katigulang na pro kabalo man gali ya mag flirt....heheheeh
Lexter- Posts : 179
Join date : 2009-08-07
Location : nueva valencia
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